Pentagon Weaponry Gets Flummoxed by a Party Balloon -- Again
Beware the Bodacious Unreal Zippy Zapper (BUZZ)
The hunt is on for evil and diabolical party decorations.
Reuters reports: “The U.S. Army deployed AeroVironment Inc’s (AVAV.O) LOCUST laser counter-drone weapon system near El Paso International Airport on Wednesday (February 11, 2026), leading to a seven-hour airspace shutdown, two people briefed on the situation told Reuters.” (1)
“The use of the 20-kilowatt LOCUST direct-energy weapon, which has not previously been reported, is a rare known example of the U.S. deploying cutting-edge counter-drone technology capable of defeating flying objects at a fraction of the cost of traditional interceptor missiles.” (1)
SummersTimes offers a snarky alternative name for the Pentagon’s latest plaything: the Bodacious Unreal Zippy Zapper, or BUZZ.
With hilarity worthy of the Keystone Kops (2), three wretchedly confused entities – the Department of Defense (a/k/a War?), the Department of Transportation’s Federal Aviation Administration, and the Department of Homeland Security’s Customs and Border Protection agency – fumbled and bumbled and stumbled and stomped all over one another and shut down El Paso airspace (initially for ten days, lifted after seven hours) because of consternation (or was it panic?) about a nefarious drone.
“Several outlets have also reported that the laser was fired at an object officials believed was a drone. They later learned it was a party balloon”. (3)
This is not the first time in recent years that the foo fighters (4) in the Pentagon have hunted down and destroyed a menacing party decoration.
“Today (12 February 2023) at 2:42 p.m. ET, at the direction of President Biden, and based on the recommendations of Secretary Austin and military leadership, an F-16 fired an AIM9x to successfully shoot down an airborne object flying at approximately 20,000 feet altitude in U.S. airspace over Lake Huron in the State of Michigan.” It turned out to be a party balloon. Cost of an AIM9x: $472,000.00. (5)
With all of the money that we waste on weaponry, one would think that contractors could come up with software sophisticated enough to differentiate toy balloons from other targets.
Back to the second paragraph. The LOCUST system (6) defeats “...flying objects at a fraction of the cost of traditional interceptor missiles.”
What does one make of that? Why, the Department of Defense/War is looking out for taxpayers and diligently slashing costs, of course!
Let us be grateful.
Endnotes:
(2) https://www.britannica.com/topic/Keystone-Kops
(4) No, not Dave Grohl and friends. “The term foo fighters was used by Allied aircraft pilots during World War II to describe various unidentified flying objects or mysterious aerial phenomena…” See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_fighter. (Now you know the origin of the band’s name!)
(5) SummersTimes, February 13, 2023
(6) LOCUST. As in a plague of locusts. As in Exodus 10:12-5. Uh-huh. Got it.